Soap is not a condiment
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize