I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
