pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize