does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
