Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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