Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
