So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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