Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
