I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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