Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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