then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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