found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
