Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
this hospital has no fireball
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
