Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
