Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
