Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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