I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize