nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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