Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love you. Go after that dick
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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