she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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