nut hugger
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
