Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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