Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
