Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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