Whod you bang
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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