So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize