covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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