I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
