I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
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