I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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