I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm passing your future prison.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize