Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
