Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
