My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i will never coherently bang her
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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