I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Randomize
