A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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