i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
