Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
