We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
