I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
