If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
