only if we run a train.
done.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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