He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
