angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
