i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
