How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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