Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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