Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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