I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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