It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize