did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
