Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
