two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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