I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize