you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
