I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize