so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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