You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize