Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
