Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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