There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
