Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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