I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You can't just leave with hair like that
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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