his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
