Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
