Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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