Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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